back!! and erm.. with nothing much to say abt the trip except (as we both agree), it was fun in a strange and very tiring sort of way.

not much was done. hardly any photos were taken. not a lot of food was consumed and practically zilch was bought. it wasn't all that pretty in the conventional way like crystal clear blue waters or exceptional scenery. instead we had huge, crashing waves, which made swimming impossible. extremely withering sun and terrifying, exposed live powerlines along every street.

BUT we had a lovely, strong (salty) breeze ALL the time by the beach. a soothing lack of people, wide, empty spaces, friendly locals and a fascinating and yummy variety of flavoured green tea (and yoghurt drinks) at astoundingly cheap prices. an amazing profusion of 7-Eleven stores (and supermarkets) which of course we HAD to enter and wander round aimlessly for unimaginably long stretches of time with only one or two items to show at the end of it =]

and of course, THE 8 km walk on day 2 that zapped all our energy and left us listless and dead for the remaining 2 days. all because we were giam and refused to pay for a tuk-tuk ride into town. A LOT of green tea was consumed that day.

all in all, a rather strange trip, which started out with a 3hr wait at changi and ended with a ridiculously fast taxi ride to phuket international airport and a flight home that was proudly and gleefully announced as "we are 20mins ahead of schedule, again" -- the irony.

oh and changi has suspicious tasting drinking fountains. be warned.

i remember saturday--feeling like i'm walking on glass, and other sharp, pointy things. feeling bright and brittle. ok and yet teetering on the edge of grief.

"i am not doing so well" -- words i'd never had occasion to say because i've never felt that badly before..

random memories resurfacing, each painfully drawing a drop of blood, bittersweet,and insanely precious. how could i forget?

kayaking. dirty green sea. hot, hot, burning sun, but peaceful. satisfied. happy. calm. contented together. she wanted to suntan, she said as she took off her life jacket. cool green water, hot heads, browning shoulders.

serene in nature, in manner, in joy and life.

piecing together the pieces, filling in the gaps, answering the nagging questions.. i'm glad i was able to share some things that helped to shed some light of understanding.. i'm glad you told me a lot of things i really, really, really needed to know and hear. i had been SO desperate for details, SO desperate to understand, SO confused..