that's it.

the instant le papillion comes out on vcd i'm buying it. hell, i might actually buy the dvd instead..

and for the first time i'm my life. damit.. i want that poster!!

too bad i'm leaving on the 15th, or i would have loooved to watch Jeux d'enfants.. here's hoping they'll be showing that in the states.

i forsee cineleisure becoming my favourite hangout.. hooray for cathay deciding to be the 'hub' for foreign films.. now all they have to do is to bring in a whole lot more films in the language i can actually understand i.e. german.. boo german needs a helluva lot more exposure here..

i must have been european in my past life..

it's interesting the way memory works and how such strong emotions can be attached to inanimate objects..

i was lying on my parent's bed -- the best place in the house to read, when i looked up at the grey luggage case, awaiting packing, standing against the wall.. this suitcase was with me to Muenster. it will also follow me to the States soon.."

different suitcases, different memories. the one i will be bringing to italy, has likewise seen turkey, eastern europe, china, canada, switzerland, spain and a little bit of portugal with me. it's old and a little battered for wear but it's mine, and i like it.

this grey one, bigger, easier to handle (it has swivelling rollers!) and newer holds similarly newer memories..

there's a possessiveness that accompanies such thoughts, which claims the object as indefiniably and unmistakenly your own. it's strangely liberating in the stream of consciousness it brings -- thank god i met him or i would never have survived getting off the train.. helping each other getting our luggage off the train at muenster.. our first glimpse of Uli.. realising i brought way too many useless things.. my 'attic' room.. the view from my window on that clear clear night.. ... and strangely exhilirating in the promise of future memories it will have a part in making..

then again, i'm (undeniably) just a sentimental sob. have yet to tell Uli, "you're right, i am a romantic" .. haha..

anyway, here's to early christmas cheer and wishes and a happy (chinese) new year since i will not be around for all three events..

time runs like a stream -- unending.. so as this year winds down and '04 approaches, what is it to me but just another day, just another year..

enjoy people. have fun, live fun, i'll see you all in Jan..

today was one of those days when things begin great but ended on a less happy note..

i feel i forged a deeper, more meaningful friendship with a friend i esteem highly, which made me glow warm and fuzzy inside.. a feeling that reminds me of what's really important in life -- really connecting with people.

i'm not so vain to think that everyone who ever meets me finds me unforgettable. i'm not so vain to think that i'm one of the more interesting acquaintences of someone else's life..

but i would like to make it my goal, and today reminds me of a promise i made myself long ago, to be myself with my friends, to lay out the "me" for their eyes, to give them a sense of who i really am..

unlike the immortal poets and artists who live on in their works and paintings after their death, i do not aspire to such immortality..

but i do hope that sometimes people pause in the midst of the bustle of life to think about me and go "yeah, that's her"..

my life would be complete if i manage to leave a little bit of "me-ness" with every person i meet; in other, plainer words, i hope i make enough of an impact on people that they remember me when our paths have long grown cold and gone to weed..

this might come across as all wrong and i'm afraid i'm not eloquent enough to say it the right way, but it's about how some things people say about you that will stay with you forever..

little stunners of one-liners, which hit you like the surf, washing you in a wave of genuine surprise, leaving in it's wake a bewildering sense of happiness and the comforting knowledge that "i've actually touched someone that much... i am appreciated"

i will forever remember a certain hug and a certain line on one cool summer evening, in a country half a day's flight away.. and one of today's sms(es)..

sometimes i think i don't thank people enough, that i don't tell them how much i appreciate them enough, that they don't know just how deeply touched i am by their friendship, their trust, their smile...

i think the best gift anyone can give another is letting them know how much they've touched your life, how you are a better person for having met them..

meantime i have a friend who's confused and hurting right now and that hurts me too.. bad things should not happen to nice people, but unfortunately the world does not work that way.. fairytales should happen more frequently and perhaps the world would be a happier place, but unfortunately they don't..