"But you see," she said softly, "I am the support you can count on. You have so many people to care for. I want to be the one who cares for you. I want to be the sweet voice in the dark that answers only to your call. I want to be your place of warmth and safety, your refuge and your home. I want to be the one you think of when every other thought is gone."

-- Angelica Sharon Shinn

a little empty, sad and not looking forward to an empty office tomorrow. gauri's really gone now.. even if i'll see her in december (and how i can't wait for that!) it'll never be the same.

7 mths (really?!) is a long time. 7 mths of seeing each other every day, of having lunch together daily.. taking sneaky long lunches. shopping at amara.. she was there when i didn't feel like facing the rest of the world, wanting and drawing comfort from only her company. what would i have done if she hadn't been around during that devastating period not-so-long/but really 4mths ago.. no longer will i have someone to prattle nonsense to, someone to brighten the dreary office hours..

it sucks. big time.

and yet, eclipsing all the sorrow and loss is the safe, warm and snug knowledge that i've gained another friend-for-life. even if both of us will be going our separate ways i will draw comfort from the nearness of cyberspace, the ease of reaching out with email and the fact that each holds a special space in the other's heart and memories.

what will the future hold when she comes back in 2years time? where will i be? likely, possibly not here. if having her leave is hard enough, i cannot, dare not imagine how it'll be having to leave family and friends.. even if it'll be towards a future of seeing him (my light of my life) daily..

heavy thoughts on a heavy soul..

feeling like a frizzledfrazzledmothy..

one more. because i love them..