no matter what i tell myself. i guess i'll never be as hip or cool as i would like to be. and it's depressing to see pple who are..

i know it isn't suppose to matter, cos all these are superficial things, but it still gets you down, ya know?

sometimes, i wonder if the image i have of myself is an illusion.. do i cultivate an 'intellectual' image of myself to fill up the 'happening' image i lack? do i sound like i know many things in order to not seem vacuous? do i shrug things (e.g. fashion) off disdainfully and distance myself from 'them', just to comfort myself that i'm not part of 'them', when perhaps deep down inside, a teeny part of me cries out: but i do want to be part of 'them', sometimes?

reminds me of that 'soci of the family' module i took. liling and i were so depressed.. i think i'd rather be a guinea pig in my next life..

i'm currently in love with wubai.. dreamy sigh

i was reminded this morning, while talking to my sis, how memory freezes time.

upon hearing bits of info like "did you know mr lim has a kid already?", "harris is now lit hod", "so-and-so left vj" or "i think ms goh is arts hod now" etc.. i suddenly realise how all my memories of vj are stuck in '98-'99..