my new absolutely gorgeous burgandy ink pen is somehow 'leaking' too much ink when i write! =( makes for beautiful writing.. but looks like i'll have to reserve it for special occasions.. sigh..

call me weird, but ink has just got to flow nicely to make me happy. only then will my handwriting look nice, and i'm quite a fusspot when it comes to that.. it's an aesthetic in itself. nothing beats looking at a page of beautifully written words. ah bliss good pen. nice handwriting. one extremely satisfied me grin..

call me weirder, cos this is coming from the one who can spend minutes at the bookshop just staring at the rows and rows of pens. buying pens is such an adventure, such a treat for me. it's not just an activity. it's an essay in frivolous fun =) what to buy, which brand, what colour.. ahh and that's the million dollar question isn't it? what colour

most of the time, i am a black person. i like the clarity and stark simplicity of black against white, dark against light.. but buying colour.. now that's an entirely different story. anyone who knows me knows that i've got this thing for shades.. for the in-between, 'off' shades of colour. to illustrate, (in terms of clothes) green cannot just be green, it has got to be moss green, and only in the exact shade. likewise for pens. when shopping for colour, it's got to be from the norm. blue can't just be blue, it's got to be blue/black.. normal blue is boring..

.. hence my newest not just-red, but wine-red, burgandy acquisition. call me even weirder, but finding such odd colours thrills me with elation.. another one to add to the fold..

and sometimes i'm so tempted to buy two for not only the heck of it but also for the fear that such 'odd' colours would be discontinued..

it's the same with pokka mango tea. WHY aren't they selling it at the co-op anymore! all they're selling now is boooring old lemon tea and the i've-never-really-fancied-it-that-much-though-it-is-quite-nice peach tea..

the old, dependable, you-can-find-almost-anything-there co-op has finally failed me.. mango tea was up against too great a foe - the 'educational' magazine (Nat Geographic, Time, the Economist..) section and lost..

mourn the passing of pokka mango tea..

"Here we are After all these years Face to face Heart to heart And I've loved you from the start But I never thought that we'd be standing here After all these years

Here we are With another song to sing All these days Pass us by As we watched our childhood fly And I'm still the one to share your hopes and fears After all these years

After all these years We still have each other One to another After all these years You're still the one And I'm still here After all these years

And here we are With another bridge to cross..

And I've loved these days All we've been through And I'd just like to say I'm so glad it's been you Here's one more song from the heart For the laughter and the tears After all these years.."

thank you..

depressing news from all quarters..

you try to 'avoid' it, but it comes in and hits you from another unsuspecting angle..

instead of just giving in and moping, you try to maintain a sense of normalcy, a semblance of life, joy, mundane happiness..

but it's all just a facade, a current of calm over the turbulent depths.. and you just try not to think..

.. not to think..