for the simple reason that my muse is tied to feelings/emotions, it stands to reason that when i withhold feeling (whether conscious or not) she takes a holiday.
and thinking back now. i'm really amazed at the power of the subconscious. it took me long enough to finally realise what's wrong and do something about it.
not huge solve-it-all-at-once steps but i think, facing it is always the first and most impt step to take..
.. the rest will come later.
ok, just a little on whatsup these many past days..
stuff weighing on my mind:
honours : to try or not to try. to actively look for trouble (mah fan), incredible amts of stress, self-doubt, and more nights of frustration, or just to let it slide me by, silently, without fuss..
topics : essays, essays and more essays (projects included too). no concrete agendas in sight, just multitudes of ideas winging their weightless way past me.. 4 on the back-burner. they're looking really cosy there..
inspiration : (or lack thereof) feeling mightily dull and uninspired lately. lately being 'for as long as this sem has lasted'..
i think what i really need most at this moment is some time off for myself, to relax a little, to let it up on myself a little, to refocus and put everything into perspective ..
i need to do something (apart from schwork)which won't make me feel guilty..
being unable to write is the worst torture of all for one who lives on words..