don't worry.. you're not the only one not on top of things =) i've hardly been blogging at all.. if you consider the way i used to blog =)

well.. as for layout. it's a new one. hehe.. things really needed changing around here and elsewhere.. and it's always refreshing to come up with something new. this time round, in your own words "sleek" was the way to go. simple, uncluttered.. sort of how i'll like my life to be..

perhaps i shld bring back tagboard.. i'll see..

decided to add a little colour.. i'm kinda addicted to blue =)

there's something sexy about black on white.. and it's making me lazy. this might actually stay - this slacker-hastily-put-together-layout..

elsewhere..

for two days in a row i've felt i've been in the company of 'strangers'.. acquaintences and some more-than acquaintences and yet, strangers.

listening to them talk, having nothing to say in return. hearing their words, and yet having no desire to engage because i can't find nothing in common with to identify with, pretty much makes for gaze-out-of-the-window behaviour.

it's slighty worse when it happens with someone i've known for the past 5+ years.. someone whom i thought i knew reasonably enough of to form a sense of the person, someone of whom i could say with justifiable confidence, "yeah that's x"...

and all it took was just a few words to blow that all away. wasn't talking directly to the person, but on hearing those words tumble out, warning bells started ringing in my head, my mind went on alert and somewhere, somewhere inside me a little something crumbled and blew away in the winds of change and left an empty place where surety once was...

and upon looking at the person, where once was "x" now stands "stranger".. and somehow i can't help but feel a little cheated. so all those years i've know "x", were they all for nothing? all those few memories i've treasured because they 'defined' 'x' as a person to me, are they all errors in judgement?

why so bothered abt this? pple change all the time don't they? yes and no. yes - in little ways, perhaps in mindset, maybe in outlook. no - in the sense that the essential person doesn't change, the core of who one is, usually stays just that, the core..

even those i only meet once or twice a year, each time i see them it makes me smile that i am able to say to myself "he's still the same", "he still the person i know"...

yes. pple change, but when they change into something i don't recognise, when i suddenly feel so alienated, so divorced from my perception of "x".. i just have to accept it i guess..

pple do change... pple do change... pple do...

but i still feel cheated..

doing major overhauling.. as such, this will be the temp layout, till i decide further. no tagboard for the moment, so leave comments in the comments links yes?

you'll probably see much more of me from now on, compared to the past few weeks. the impetus to blog had returned.

so zil: i'll still be here..

i think i just needed a thorough cleaning / cleansing / clearing out.. stasis turns everything cob-webby and musty..

be seeing you guys ard..