i either need to read A LOT or write A LOT. reading is the easier option of the two, but what i really want to do is write. except that my muse is on permanent holiday.

then again i don't blame her, my mind's not been a very pleasant place to be recently. it's either blank and i mean blank or so crammed full of everything, that it's a major headache just trying to decide on focusing on 1 thing to think about. trust me. it's exhausting. very.

it used to be much more peaceful inside and i used to be able to latch onto one thought and be happy with it. blargh.. maybe that's why i've been watching anime like it's my entire life - it does the thinking for you. hmm.. then again, that could be because i'm just a rabid fan.. shrug

i think i need stimulating conversation to straighten the tangles in my mind. someone i can off-load all my weird and strange thoughts onto who'll just absorb them and not worry later that i've gone nuts or that i've always been nuts..

i think i really need him to come home soon.

i had decided, about 1min ago, that i was finally going to give in and do a misery-rant..

i am still extremely grouchy and grumpy (not counting the fact that my hard disk is maxed out and i can't dl anymore inuyasha boohoo..) but things just suddenly got a whole lot brighter when someone reminded me of an unopened mail..

ct: i, myself have yet to learn how to blend stuff in photoshop. i am not such a god(dess) with it as i am with Word grin

the least that one can hope for is for her decisions to be respected. some may not understand why i've decided so, but it's enough for me that my reasons mean something important to me and that should also be enough reason for others..

sometimes, a once-in-a-lifetime chance can mean less to me than a i-might-never-see-her-alive-again-in-1-mth's-time possibility.

it just gets me that i still get asked a question that i have answered weeks ago.