"..Mirth is the mail of anguish, In which it caution arm,
Lest anybody spy the blood And “You ’re hurt” exclaim!"

i must i must i must i must go to the library this weekend. reading is all that's keeping me sane on the bus rides to and from work.

a likely list (if i can find them):

Redemption Ark - Alastair Reynolds Perdido Street Station - China Mieville The DaVinci Code - Dan Brown (just to see the fuss) anything by Iain M. Banks likely something by Stephen King

did i mention? i've utterly given over to the master that is Isaac Asimov. he writes so fluidly it makes reading as simple as breathing.

house-hunting tomorrow! it's a little unreal that we're actually, actually looking for a new place. it still feels like a dream to me, much like how i feel too abt the fact i've got a new job. it's all unreal and surreal. both situations feel so far away, so tenuous.. as if i'm just going through the motions of something i ought to do.

i suppose it's because we've lived here too long, i've worked for my boss long enough, that routine and life has acquired a sense of permanence. things are solid, steadfast, real, safe..

i still wonder if i'm settling for less. i'm certainly not looking forward to this new job with great anticipation or excitement. i'm only worried about surviving 9hr workdays, esp. in my current exhausted state.

i fear i'm too much of a comfort person. i like the thrill of new challenges, experiences and situations, but at the end of the day, i still like to feel safe. i wish i was going into it with a fresh abundance of energy.

(hopefully) if my replacement takes to things well, i might and would like to take wed off. my batteries need serious recharging.. don't want to be burnt-out even before starting. knowing that i can't take any leave during the 3mths probation really doesn't help. but if my dad can do it--never ever ever taking leave, i bet i can. my generation is way too cushy.. or perhaps it's just me who's been spoilt rotten..