there's something extremely satisfying about looking at an essay printed out on pristine white paper .. 1 inch margins all round, double-spaced, Times New Roman font..

i think the joy is in doing them. i regret having been depressed three weeks ago. it really screwed up the past week, but, i've rediscovered the immense joy of actually writing essays. whoohoo..

and i think i really do want to write more essays. i think i really do want to continue going to school for another year. i think i am ready for honours.. it's just would honours take me?

blargh to grades.. it's all abt being ready isn't it? feeling that you're there.. that you've reached that elusive level of 'there-ness' of having arrived somewhere at last.. of feeling worthy enough.. of having finally matured, of having realised you've actually grown ...

the nightmare that was hrm is finally over. but like i said today, on the flipside, something good came out of all the bad: i made a new friend.

again, it amazes me how there are some pple in life you meet at random (ie. the sort you would never meet in your life even though both are in arts because subj. combis are miles apart) with whom you hit off with instantly and before you know it, we're such good friends i feel like we've known each other for years..

i treasure moments like that. even more so when we've both been to hell and back (if the phrase "group mate from hell" helps to explain) .. in this case, there's a gratefulness that stems deeper than mere gratitude. it comes from having triumphed together and coming out knowing you can trust and relie on that person, even in a pinch.

and to think (!).. it all started with a casual comment from my right, one thurs afternoon 3mths ago..

"eh, we have the same hp pouch."

"...I will follow that system of regimen which, according to my ability and judgment, I consider for the benefit of my patients...

...Into whatever houses I enter, I will go into them for the benefit of the sick..."

-- the Hippocratic Oath

"...May the love for my art actuate me at all times; may neither avarice nor miserliness, nor thirst for glory, or for a great reputation engage my mind;... May I never see in the patient anything else but a fellow creature in pain."

-- the Prayer of Maimonides