the river of words has dried, again. no surprises. but i feel a nagging 'duty' to 'update' and ramble and so here i am, late at night, sitting at a strange comp that has now become familiar through too many (but not many enough) visits and stay-overs at his place.. blogging.

tonight was not a night i intended to blog. there are times when fun stuff strikes me the way lightning strikes the tallest thing around, violently, quickly and impactfully and i go "this is a thought i would love to blog". but, alas, internet access would either be miles or hours away and the moment is thus lost. i lost several of such moments yesterday in the bus on the way to the airport to pick him up.. thoughts i tried to tell myself to remember, to blog..

but instead of that, i'm blogging drivel. amidst my joy and satisfied calm that he's home, there's pain and hurt in the air tonight.. when a friend suffers, her friends suffer along with her. i think that's the real power of friendship - your pain is always shared by those who love and care for you. sometimes, friends agonise even more than the one hurt. i know, because i'm like that. however, like i told another friend, at moments like these, what can you do but rally round the center and just be there. that's what i intend to do.

the strong euro is giving me nightmares each time i go out. my brain chants to me "thou shalt not spend" whenever i spot something that catches my fancy. or is that my conscience which remembers that daddy will be paying for 95% of everything. eeks..

i regret that money has to be this essential to life. essential mind you, not important. it's a real shame..

i also wonder how i am able to spend money on clothes and books but am loath to take just $100 out from my savings to supplement daddy-given pocket money for the upcoming trip to deutschland..

i am such a stinge and a hoarder.. i feel like smaug from the hobbit